I had no idea how much hope you gave me until you were gone.
I spent the day trying to figure out what to do with myself. Nothing seemed adequate. I tried listening to the news, which was awful. I tried listening to music, which seemed pointless. I sat inside and stared at stuff, which seemed weird. So I went outside to the backyard and stared at stuff, which was better, but did nothing to fill the void left by your passing.
So I began pacing around my backyard. Which is my habit now, but I had no idea how much I would need it today. I couldn't stop, because if I did, it meant that you were really gone. So I kept going.
I still don't know what to do with myself. So I'm following the example set by my desert tortoise, Spot.
I don't know "where" I am on my journey to meet up with Kim and Heidi, but when I'm ready to face the world again I'll figure it out. It just might be a while.